I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Randomize
