WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Randomize
