Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
if only i could text you this smell
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize