I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
