im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
