it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
