HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize