'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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