Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Randomize
