yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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