told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Randomize
