Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
