My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
We are all done wearing pants today
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Randomize
