I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
