why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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