Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Randomize
