I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Randomize
