is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
