I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
