But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
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