I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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