I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
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