His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Randomize
