explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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