You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
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