I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
