Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
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