I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
