So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize
