he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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