I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
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