I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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