dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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