Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
