This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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