why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize
