I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Randomize