the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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