***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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