Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
