Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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