Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Randomize
