just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
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