3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
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