I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
