In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Randomize
