I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Floor bacon is actually really good
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
