Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
