Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
