Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
