No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
