come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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