i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
