from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
