i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
