Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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