So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
