on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
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