I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Randomize
