did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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