Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
