I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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