porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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