My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Randomize