I want to stick my p in your. b.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
and i looked up. we had an audience...
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
