I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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