Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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