Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Randomize
