I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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