She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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