we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I forget how to act sober
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize