What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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