He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Floor bacon is actually really good
Randomize
